progress!

Coffee with Alma was good, she talked a lot which was a bit tiring though, but it was nice and I enjoyed it. We talked about people we know, and of course people from uni. She does gossip though, even though she doesn't think that she does.
I then went to my brothers to drop off the swing. He was the only one home, and we chatted for a bit, he asked me if I would babysit on Mondays for a few hours so that he could go to the gym. I asked how he was feeling about having another baby and he talked about his feelings. The conversation went onto how second babies are normally easier, and I said that he was an exception to the rule, and he said something about how he might have had a few difficult years. So I asked him what he remembered about it, and it was obvious that his thoughts were different to mine, he thought that he was difficult for a lot shorter time than I remember. He did talk about a couple of events that I don't remember, like one time holding my neck and pushing me over. He asked me what my reality was, so I told him the years and a few examples, like him strangling me in France. It was an edited version as I didn't want to be too full on. And he then talked about school and the pressure that he felt from our parent's to be a high achiever and how hard that was, and how he had nowhere to express himself and so took it out on the family. It was amazing to have such an open and honest conversation with him.
We had lunch and talked about our sister and particularly her partner who neither of us like. It really upsets my brother, I think cos he is so close to our sister that not liking her partner has a greater effect on him. And just as I was leaving he said that if I babysat on Mondays we could then have lunch and spend time together, which was a surprise, and I take that to mean that he enjoyed seeing me, and talking on a deeper level. I felt really happy after, felt like such progress, and I never imagined that we would get to having a conversation like that.
Last night I talked to Denise, told her about the progress with my brother. We also talked about my sister's baby and my concerns about her behaviour, and the possibility of her having some 'problem'. Denise is concerned too, she is so unresponsive and she sleeps for fourteen hours a night! I do hope not though, it would be terrible for my sister, especially as her partner is so unsupportive.
I am reading Facing Codependence again, first time it took me nearly a year to read as I kept getting triggered and would have to stop for a bit. Then I tried to read it again before Survivors last year but I got to page ten and had to stop. And now I am on page 48 and I am going strong, it is such a clear sign of improvement and that makes me really happy!
Today the weather has been lovely, blue sky for the first time in ages. My food is not good though, I am eating heaps of rubbish which is really really not good and I hope that I can improve it soon, there is obviously stuff going on that I am not really in touch with, which isn't surprising as I do that a lot.