day 2

so, day two of my blogging and mid way through the afternoon I remembered that I had started one and realised that writing on it now would be a great way of further delaying packing.
I have delayed my moving date, only by one day, but now I need to not sit around and leave everything until the last minute, however, I think that the chances of me doing that are pretty damn high.
I am tired, I have jet lag, and I just want to lie down and sleep, or rest my eyes, or do anything that is more interesting that packing. Somehow it will have to happen as I cannot delay my moving any further.
Feeling a little low too, which isn't helping. I got an email from Pia this morning, with the email address of a therapist that she wants me to work with. Really lovely of Pia to care and do this, and I feel really touched by that, but it is scary. It is scary that she has done this for me, and none of the other people that I know who have met her, makes me think that I am really fucked up, which I am finally accepting might be true after the work that she did on me, and that is kind of painful and makes me feel sad. I am also scared of working with someone new, and looking at all of this stuff. And the fact that I have a therapist, who doesn't know anything about the PIT model, so can't do the work with me that I want/need to do, but how do I tell her that? Especially when I am starting to see that I am scared of her? I am seeing her tomorrow, and will have to tell her about my time in America, and that is scary enough, I intend to leave out the bit about seeing another therapist, at least until I know what is going on.
And that is about it really, main things going on right now are moving, and adjusting to life back in the UK. I miss Arizona immensely, I so so hope that I can move out there one day soon. I love it there, it is just so spiritual, and the weather certainly beats British summertime!
I think that I like this blogging stuff, good for me to share a bit, and love the anonymity of it, and that maybe no one will ever read it, but maybe they will. I don't talk about what is going on for me enough, so if I keep this up it will no doubt do me a lot of good. We shall see.
But for now, I need to pack. dammit.