AAGGGHHHHH!!!!

Blimey, what a day, I am exhausted. Woke up early and turned my computer on, hoping that Cathey would be on Skype to talk, she wasn't. I wanted to talk to her about Jane, who sent me an email saying that she was pleased that I was going to AZ in March as she had been in a quandary about our friendship, thinking that if we weren't going to see each other again then what was the point of being friends. I felt really hurt by that, and can't believe that she told me that, she obviously didn't think about it and what I might think about her saying that. Makes me not want to talk to her, if she is only going to stay friends until March, then what??
I emailed Cathey about it last night, to see what she said, and really wanted to talk to her about it today. Eventually she came online and I did get to speak to her, which was great. She was also shocked by what Jane said, and also can't quite understand Jane's thinking, it just seems crazy. Was good to talk about it, Cathey suggested that I not say anything and just think about it for a few days before I respond, so that I don't say anything that I will regret. So this morning I sent Jane a really short email, I was on my way out and was running late, so that was a good excuse for it being so short.
Went for lunch with Kate, was nice to see her. It is her birthday tomorrow so I bought lunch for her. It was nice, and I enjoyed being out and chatting. Home and walked the dogs, Casey is being really annoying, barking a lot and being needy, I hate it when she is like that and I am like this, but I did wonder if she was picking up on my stress.
Oh, something else is that the rental company for my old place are trying to get money out of me for cleaning the carpets, and I am refusing to pay as they made a mistake by not telling me before I moved in that I would have to do that when I left, because of the dogs, and only told me three months after I moved in. Normally I would just accept it and pay, but I haven't and have stood up for myself. That feels really weird and hard and I hate it, and am angry that I am having to do this. And as I am saying that I won't pay it the landlord has decided to charge me for marks on the wall, that this morning I was told I didn't have to pay for. I am really angry about it, the rental company made a mistake and they are accepting no part in it and making it sound like I am being unreasonable and difficult. As I am writing this I am feeling angry and want to cry, which seems silly, I wonder if it is a combination of things. I don't know. I just hope that it is resolved quickly, and hopefully in my favour as it is now a lot of money.
I called the Meadows today and gave them my credit card details for the workshop in March with Pia. The date of it has changed and so I said that I would check if that was ok, which it is, but wanted to check flights, but for some reason I am not feeling excited or even bothered about going there at the moment, which is strange. Wondering if that is in part because Jane is there, and I am angry at her and don't want to see her, and because I am tired and a bit overwhelmed or something.
I also got an email from someone from uni today, it was really nice, they shared some stuff about their childhood with me, and it felt good that she had shared it with me, but I replied talking about me, didn't give any details, but talked about how I have struggled accepting my childhood, and that it wasn't perfect, and accepting that it has and continues to affect me. Think that I have feelings around what I wrote in the email too.
Strangely I have been thinking about Deena, and how I am looking forward to seeing her next week and talking about whats going on, which is a massive turnaround to how I have been, so obviously being honest with her helped, I just hope that it stays this way.
So thats me, feeling pretty low and like I could have a good cry. Not fun.